Kids in the Hall/Transcript
opens at Galaxy Hills Elementery School Kyle: inside My application to Milkweed is almost complete. now see him at his desk, with a quill and paper All that's left...is a 3,000 word essay. I have to get this just right. Mr. Mufflin: Attention, class! I am now accepting applications for the position of Hall Monitor. stares at Kyle Kyle: Huh? Mr. Mufflin: We're all looking at you, Suck-Up. Kyle: Thank you, no. Fanboy: offscreen Did somebody say... and Chum Chum enter through the roof Hall Monitors? Mufflin coughs from the smoke Fanboy: Fanboy and Chum Chum, professional Hall Monitors, at your service. gives Mr. Mufflin a card reading "Fanboy & Chum Chum See U!" Mr. Mufflin: But, but I -- Fanboy: But, you want to know how I knew you needed a Hall Monitor, don't you? We planted a bug on you! That's how! Chum Chum: Actually, it's a cat. Fanboy: Yes, it's a cat! Because that's what we do. We monitor...staff. Chum Chum, camera 1. a camera displaying an overview of the classroom Camera 2. Chum shows a camera from Chuggy's mouth And camera 3. a button on a pen in the pocket on Mr. Mufflin's shirt Mr. Mufflin: Okay, okay, you got the job, Purple Kid. Fanboy away Geez, it's just a hallway. Fanboy: Thank you, sir. You won't be sorry. Chum Chum, we got the job! Chum Chum: from Mr. Mufflin's mouth with camera 4 in it Does it pay? Because I went a little over budget on camera 4. that day. We see F&C come in wearing Hall Monitor hats and sashes Fanboy: This is the moment we've been waiting for. his sash Remember, this sash isn't just a bold fashion statement... they pose weird as to what Fanboy said It's a solemn symbol of responsibility and safety. bell rings. The other kids run into the hall and act wild, shouting chaoticly. Even Chimp Chomp joins in. The Hall Monitors get angry Fanboy: EVERYBODY! SLOW DOWN!!! stops Fanboy: NOW, GIRLS TO THE LEFT-- Chum Chum: AND BOYS TO THE RIGHT! Fanboy: AND KEEP THAT SKATEBOARD OUTTA SIGHT! Hey, that rhymed. giggle in a dark classroom, Kyle is still writing his essay Kyle: Ugh, how can I concentrate with all that racket? fingers, slamming the door shut And so, in conclusion, if you see fit to re-admit me to Milkweed Academy -- stops to hear his crystal ball ringing. He picks it up to reveal Professor Flan calling him Professor Flan: Mr. Bloodworth-Thomason. Kyle: Oh, Professor Flan, hello. Professor Flan: Where is that essay you promised to deliver? Kyle: Oh, yes...um...the messenger service was out of owls, so I'm sending it via carrier griffin, but the one that they sent seemed a little bit...ill-tempered? griffin screeches badly, knocking the crystal ball out of his hands Professor Flan: No matter. I was just returning from a Raspberry Festival in Provence. bother him Do mind where you're going! Scrivener Elf: Professor Flan's chariot I said we should take the tunnel. Professor Flan: At this time of day? Nonsense! Kyle Anyway, I'll simply pop around the school and pick up your essay in person. Kyle: Thank you sir, thank you. I shan't keep you waiting. crystal ball disappear, then leaves room hallway... Kyle: What the-woah! spins him around, followed by Cheech and Chuggy doing a do-si-do with him. He then flies to the floor Ahhh! picks him up and dances with him Woah! Fanboy: Well, swing your lad! Swing your lass! Make sure that you have your pass! Chum Chum: Bow to your gent, bow to your miss. Walk, don't run, that means you, Chris! Kyle: Stop it! Unhand me! close-up What is going on? Fanboy: We told 'em to slow down... Chum Chum: And it became a hoedown! Kyle: Get off! to the floor Ahhhh! trampled by a pig Ugh! Chum Chum: Oh, yeah, and a greased pig contest. Catch that greasy sow! kids run after the pig, trampling Kyle Fanboy: What do you say, Kyle? Chum blows his jug] Wanna do-si-do? Chum blows his jug again Kyle: Pushing F&C away] No, I do-si-don't. I simply want to get this very important essay... and sees he is not holding his essay What? Where's my essay? away and sees a goat chew it up Ahhhh! rings Fanboy: Now, single file, one by one. Get back to class, this sure was fun. Kyle: No! I must deliver my essay posthaste! in class. Kyle is writing another essay Kyle: Almost finished. crystal ball Professor Flan: What is the big idea keeping me waiting in the sun, hmm? My scalp is starting to brulee. that his head is sizzling Kyle: salutes Oh, yes, sir. I'll be right out with my essay and some butterscotch sunscreen. peeks into the hall, seeing no one Perfect. Those ninny Hall Monitors are nowhere in sight. broomstick Professor Flan, here I come! rides through the hall, humming. However, Fanboy sees that he is going 115mph, then rides Chum Chum to catch him. Kyle hears them Kyle: Oh, what now? Chum Chum: sound, continues until after Kyle falls to the floor Fanboy: Pull over! Kyle: Yes, it is a pullover. Thank you for noticing! I actually prefer cardigans, but Nana knitted this for my birth - knocks him over before he could finish to Kyle lying on the ground, body in an impossible pose. Kyle: groans approaches him Fanboy: accent Whew, where's the fire? Kyle: Yes, officer, I grant you. I was actually traveling a tad fast, but only because I need to deliver this very importent essay to a giant magic custard who's expiring in the sun. And -- Fanboy: accent Giant magic custard, uh-huh? Kyle Sir, have you had any potions or elixers today? Kyle: laughing What? Well - maybe one at breakfast, but that was hours ago. I mean -- Chum Chum: I ran his bristles, boss. He's got unpaid tickets for parking in a janitor's closet. Fanboy: accent Uh-huh. Sir, I'm gonna have to search your broom-hicle. hand in broom bristles, revealing Necronomicon Oooh, well, well, well...looks like we have ourselves a reader. Chum Chum: spit Reading. Necronomicon: Oh-ho-ho! Please, don't arrest me, please, don't arrest me! I just can't go to a prison library again. Everyone tries to hide chisels in my pages. sneakily approaches the Monitors Kyle: You know, officers, you really are to be commended. I don't know how you monitor all these hallways. Especially without one of...THESE?! his crystal ball to them, leaving them surprised Fanboy: Ooh, you can see every hallway in school. Kyle: That's not all you can see, just have a closer look, and you'll see hallways you never dreamed of. start to lean toward the crystal ball Closer. lean closer Closer... lean in so close, their faces stick to the ball That's it. F&C get sucked into the ball Kyle: Oh, did I forget to mention it was also a portal to the netherworld of oblivion? My bad. laughter. He then makes the ball disappear, then leaves Kyle: My essay! I must deliver my essay! Professor Flan! I've got the -- stops. In front of him stands a large portal blocking the door. Kyle quivers and moans worringly, thinking what happens next. Suddenly, Fanboy and Chum Chum leap from the portal. As they do this, their image is reflected in Kyle's eyes. F&C then knock Kyle to the ground Kyle: You two? Wha - how? Chum Chum: Hey, Kyle, have you ever been to that oblivion place? It's awesome! rolls his eyes Kyle: But if you're here, that means...oh, dear. Please, tell me you closed the portal door behind you! Fanboy: Of course! You think we were raised in a transdimensional barn? Kyle: relieved Well, thank heavens. Chum Chum: But we did leave the doggy door open. Kyle: The what?!? turn and stare at the portal. A three-headed dog comes out Chum Chum: Look, a puppy! dog turns and shows its three heads Ooh, a whole litter! Kyle: his essay to scare the dog away Back...back! Back, you devilish dog! dog chews his essay up My essay! Fanboy: Uh, I don't think he's done eating yet. Chum Chum: Hey, Kyle, why don't you just use your wand? Kyle: Why, that's brilliant. Why didn't I think of that? wand Dog-Guardia, Leviosa -- Fanboy: the wand Huh? You're taking too long. Aw, who's a good boy? Who wants to play fetch? Little three-headed doggie does, that's who. Fetch the stick, fetch it. wand Kyle: No! throws the wand into the portal, and the dog goes after it Fanboy: Hey, no running in the hallway! Come on, Chum Chum. go after the dog, and the portal disappears Kyle: Well, that worked out nicely. something But I have no time to write another essay! to Professor Flan outside, holding a stickynote. It is sunset Professor Flan: This is what I've been melting all morning for? on the stickynote. It has a picture of Kyle with a heart and arrow. The arrow of the heart is pointing to Milkweed Kyle: It's my essay. See? to each picture as he describes it That's me, and the heart represents my undying devotion for everything that is Milkweed. Professor Flan: I ask you for a 3,000 word essay, and you give me THIS?!? Why, this is -- it's simply -- oh...beautiful. Kyle: I know it's not exactly -- realizing What? Professor Flan: Why, the elegance of its simplicity warms me to my slippery center. Kyle's hand Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason, if you'd be so kind as to sign this with your wand, I believe your application for re-admittance to Milkweed Adacamy is complete! he says this, he poofs up the "Milkweed Readmittance" scroll Kyle: Oh, my. This is wonderful! I can't wait to -- does not have his wand Hm...strange. It would seem I don't have my wand. Fanboy: offscreen Here it is, Kyle! come out of another portal, on the dog Kyle: the dog You...I've had just about all I can take from you. Now, sit! dog obeys And give! dog gives him his wand back. He tries to leave, but the dog stops him What is the matter with this infernal canine? Fanboy: Well, duh, Kyle. He just did a trick for you. Chum Chum: Yeah, if he does a trick, he has to have a treat. Kyle: Treat? Where am I going to find a treat big enough for this animal? and sees the dog is spying on Professor Flan Oh...oh...dear. Professor Flan: Why are these lovely doggies looking at...why is he slobbering? And him, and him? eaten by the dog Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason, Milkweed application...ow, ooh, ow, ow, ow, swallowed DENIED!!! Kyle: Oh, dear. This may set my re-admission process back...a bit. Fanboy: Well, Kyle, there's always a spot for you in the Hall Monitors. Kyle: up I suppose it wouldn't hurt to befoot my extra curriculars. Chum Chum: Great! You're on spoons. him a pair of spoons to play to him now in his beard in hat Chum Chum: YEEEEE-HAW! each get on their hay bales. A banner drops, reading "The Hall Monitors". Everyone comes in and dances Kyle: Well...I do have the teeth for it! the spoons Goo-goo-goo-gla, ga-goo-goo-goo, goo-ga-ga-ga, ga-goo-goo-goo! out to black. Category:Transcripts